Do they still make station wagons? December 30, 2005
Posted by hallelujahhatrack in Kids.1 comment so far
So, I’m leaving on a jet plane (sorry for the John Denver homage, couldn’t help it) for North Carolina to see my brother and his family – including our newest family member, baby Macy – and the boys are apoplectic. Crying, sobbing, and a chorus of, “Daddy, don’t go!” This is very touching and all, but I have a plane to catch.
When I get in the car I realize how lucky I am to have two kids who, when they are not yelling, crying, hitting each other, watching “The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy” (if you don’t know, don’t ask – you’ll be better off) or refusing to do homework in an effort to watch more of “The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy” really do love me and miss me when I’m not around. I’d like to turn the Durango around and go back to give them one more hug, but as I said before, I’ve got a plane to catch – and I’ve got to get there on the off chance that US Airways meets their 2005 New Year’s resolution of having at least one flight leave on time this year.
So, I’m driving along in my I’m-going-to-miss-my-kids stupor in which I am contemplating shedding a tear or two and finally am snapped out of it by the complete humor of an apparent septuagenarian – who I swear is smoking two cigarettes at once (maybe he needs to hit the quota set in his own 2005 resolutions) – driving a beater Mercury Sable station wagon with a Dale Earnhardt, autograph edition, “The Intimidator” license plate holder.
Perhaps farther up the road I’ll see a woman in an AMC Pager painted to look like Tony Stewart’s ride…
No Smoking, Please December 29, 2005
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She had to do it. My sister in law gave Adam a package of chocolate cigars on Christmas – complete with a Saran Wrap humidor. Now, I don’t recall the story where one of the Three Kings brings the Christ Child imitation smokes, but I’ll proceed nonetheless.
The reason for this gift is because Adam loves adults in general and my brother-in-law in particular. He used to smoke and Adam used to copy him – although he referred to it as ‘cigaretting’ and his preferred brand was a #2 pencil, filterless of course.
We’d be driving down the highway and all of a sudden he’d roll down his window with no regard for the fact that it’s 20 degrees, with a rolled-down-window-induced-wind-chill-factor of thirty below.
“Adam, put the window up!”
“No Daddy.”
“Please, it’s freezing!”
“No, I have to cigarette.”
He also yearned for his older cousin to get her driver’s license.
“Daddy, I can’t wait until Sarah can drive.”
“Why?”
“So she can take me to 7-11 to get some smokes.”
I’m pretty sure that said sister-in-law was unaware that Adam had kicked his fictional 2 pack a day habit, but now he’s lighting up again like the Marlboro Man on death row.
Now were going to have to get him back off the wagon with the help of Chicklet Nicorette and a masking tape patch.
