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So, do you come here often? July 3, 2006

Posted by hallelujahhatrack in Funny, STUFF, Sports, Uncategorized.
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Although over the past few years my handicap has risen like Ron Jeremy on a Cialis binge, I still enjoy playing and watching golf.  Over the weekend the PGA tour came to
Connecticut and I attended the Buick Championship.

 

It turned out to be a beautiful day – sunny with a breeze.  Before I left the house I looked at the pairings and tee times and planned my day.  It would work out perfectly – I’d follow Brad Faxon in the morning and Corey Pavin in the afternoon.  Why these guys?  A few reasons: John Daly and Tiger Woods weren’t there / Pavin is a player that I’ve enjoyed for quite a few years / Faxon is a local guy (well,
Rhode Island. Close enough) and the tournament’s defending champion.

 

If you haven’t had the chance to go to a PGA tournament, they are one of the few sporting events where you can actually get close to the action, so close that you are within a few feet of a player as they tee off, and are able to hear the conversations they are having with their caddies and with the other players. 

 

Another group of people that you get close to are women.  Lots of them.  Some of them very pretty.  A few weeks ago I posted that women with nice calves and wearing board shorts could become an obsession.  Well, in the morning at the Buick Championship there was a woman with the requisite beautiful legs and long shorts who was following the same threesome as I. 

 

Caution:  if you approach a pretty woman at a golf tournament who happens to be following the same group of golfers as you, and you are intent on laying down a few suave lines, you may want to make sure that the woman in your sights is not the wife of one of the players.

 

That being said, my apologies to Mrs. Faxon…

 

Oops.

Of Journey, high school, and the five senses June 23, 2006

Posted by hallelujahhatrack in Music, Sports, Uncategorized.
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After work yesterday I was driving home, which of course is something that I typically like to do after work, I heard Journey on the (kick ass) Sirius satellite radio.  “Where Were You” was the song and I cranked the (kick ass) system in the
Durango and rolled down the window (Well, I didn’t actually “roll it down” I actually pushed a button.  I haven’t rolled down a window since I drove a Plymouth Duster in high school) and let the rest of the drivers on I-84 who had also roller…, er, opened their windows hear the boys from San Fran belt it out.  I’m pretty sure that some of the people in the
Parkville section of
Hartford may have heard it as well, that is if they could hear it over the Snoop and Fitty Cent they like to bump to.

 

I knew that when I got home I had to cut the grass because a) it had grown as high as my ass and soon I’d have to cut it with a machete like I was traversing though
Nam, and 2) we are expecting our weekly weekend monsoon and home landscaping would not be possible for the next few days.  When I cut the grass I like to listen to music and I obviously went right for the Journey Time 3 box set (courtesy of my brother in celebration of my thirty-something-ish birthday a few years ago). Disc 2, since it contains the songs put out by the Perry/Rollie/Schon/Vallory/Smith line-up, which was my favorite, after Rollie and Schon came over from Santana and before they kind of pussed-out.

 

Anyway, I’ve heard that certain of the 5 senses have a better ability to invoke memories than the others, and I believe that I’ve read that smell is #1.  During the grass cutting I had three of them going pretty strong and this brought back many nice memories.

 

Hearing – Listening to that music brought me back to simpler, and daresay, better times.  I liked college but I loved high school, and this was music that I listened to during those times.  Also, this was a band that I saw in concert.  A lot.

 

Touch – Last night was humid, by
Connecticut standards (although, by the standards of my youth in
Maryland – where every day was 96 degrees and 98 percent humidity – this seemed like a nice spring evening) and I had broken a nice sweat.  A wiping my brow and beads dripping off my nose type of sweat.  Any time sweat drips from my nose I am reminded of summer football double sessions in the
Maryland heat and humidity mentioned above.  Although this was the toughest physical activity that we’d ever gone through (and probably many of us haven’t gone through anything like this since) we loved every minute of it and I recall thinking that we would look back fondly on this gridiron torture.

 

Smell – The cut grass.  Again, freshly cut grass and hot sticky weather bring back thoughts of hitting and getting hit and knocked onto the ground.  Over and over and over.  The absolute best character building experience of my life.  Period.

 

When I was done and the mover and trimmer were put away I sat on the ground, put the headphones on, and lay in the grass.  Sunset, slight breeze, and the “Lights” and “Stay Awhile” medley.

 

Heaven on a 25 year delay. 

it’s a long fly ball to deep center field… June 12, 2006

Posted by hallelujahhatrack in Kids, Sports, Uncategorized.
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The Bear had a baseball game on Saturday, and since Connecticut over the past few weeks resembles the book of Genesis during Noah’s time the infield was unplayable, unless we wanted to outfit a bunch of 6 year olds with hip waders, and at that point a quick trip to the outdoor section of Dick’s Sporting Goods was out of the question (although, now that I think of it I am running low on boot warmers and wolf piss…).

 

Anyway, we decided that since the outfield was actually not underwater we’d play out there and let the little boys and girls take aim at the center field fence.  The kids thought with was a great idea and we were off and running.

 

During the first inning they hit a couple of nice shots (including The Bear almost taking the third baseman’s head off with a wicked line drive) but no homers.  The second inning produced more of the same, as did the third.  We normally play three innings, but since the game had gone quickly and the butterfly chasing and dandelion picking was being kept to a minimum (I suppose due to the lack of supply caused by the recent overwhelming precipitation) we decided to play a fourth inning.  We also decided to move home plate about 10 feet closer to the fence.

 

Our first batter got to first base on a dribbler that the shortstop couldn’t handle due to having his finger up his nose.  Our second batter roped one to center – two men on.  The third hitter caught the second baseman napping – literally.  Bases loaded.  Our cleanup hitter then proceeded to jack one over the fence – Grand Slam!!!  Our runners circled the bases and the rest of the Astros greeted them at home plate where high fives were abundant (we tend to discourage pats on the ass because a) this is a co-ed league, and b) we don’t want any of the coaches show up unexpectedly on Dateline NBC).  Our next batter, who is almost as big as me despite being in kindergarten, followed up with a solo shot.

 

The other team, the Yankees, also had a batter (coincidentally, named after Mickey Mantle) who went deep with a jack even farther than the other two.  His dad is a buddy of mine so this was extra special for me.

 

Now, I coach because I love the game (and I can’t stand to see it played incorrectly, so I make sure the kids know how to play) and because I love the kids, but Saturday was especially fantastic.  To see the looks on the faces of the kids who hit home runs, as well as the looks on their team mates’ and parents’ faces, was worth a million dollars.  A lot of people ask me why I invest so much of my time with kids (baseball, soccer, Sunday school, etc.- about 12 to 20 hours each week) and it’s days like that that are my answer.  I can live off of that experience for a good couple of months.

The Wussification of America March 14, 2006

Posted by hallelujahhatrack in Funny, Kids, Sports, Uncategorized.
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I have to begin this post with the fact that I think that youth sports and education of today have taken any sense of competition out of the mix.  My opinion, maybe not yours.
 

Anyway, my (as of today!) 6 year old son, The Bear, finished his recreation basketball program this past Saturday.  He is sad that it’s over, mainly because he rocks!  I’m sad it’s over because I love to watch him play (not to mention that I now have to find something constructive to do on Saturday mornings, and: Constructive=work…)
 

All parental pride aside, he is one of the best players in the group.  I can see him – again, I’m being objective – playing point guard in high school or college.  He’s that good.  While other kids are chasing butterflies that only they can see, Bear is hitting J’s on the 10 foot hoop and directing his peers on the intricacies of the give-and-go.  He practices all of the time (whatever is in season: hoop, baseball, soccer) against kids twice his age – or more – and that is why he dominates. 
 

Anyway, at the end of the last session the kids were lined up and a medal was placed around their neck.  To revisit the beginning of this post, I think that by rewarding crappy performance, or just showing up, in sports with a medal or trophy and giving certificates of completion in school when you obviously can’t do the work as well as your classmates is, plainly, horse sh*t. 
 

The following conversation ensued in the car on the way home:
 

Bear: Dad?
Me: Yes?
Bear: Why did everyone get a medal?
Me: Because everyone did a good job and tried hard. (my nose grew a little…)
Bear: WHAT?!?!
Me: Everyone did a good job. (and a little more…)
Bear: No they didn’t!  Bobby can’t dribble and Billy never made one shot! (Note:  names have been changed to protect those kids who are not ‘ballers’)
Me: Well, they still tried. (which, I suppose they did) And besides, you and Brandon and Brendan and Jeremiah all practice a lot, so of course you will be better than the other guys.
Bear: (and I paraphrase to get to the point and to eliminate some dialogue that only I understood, ‘cause, well, I’m used to his ramblings) Well, Father, you have made my point beautifully for me.  Why do the kids who don’t put forth the effort get rewarded in the same way as those of us who bust our asses in order to get better?
Me:  silence
Bear:  Huh, Dad, why?  You always say that “perfect practice makes perfect” (ah, how I love to use this quote by legendary coach John Wooden) but those boys don’t even do bad practicing.  They don’t practice at all.
Me: silence
 

I’m pretty sure that at some point The Bear will get his due. 
 

And that the other kids will find what they do best as well.

Five for Friday – All time favorite atheletes January 27, 2006

Posted by hallelujahhatrack in Lists, Sports, Uncategorized.
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Five all-time favorite athletes:

  1. Reggie Jackson
  2. Roberto Clemente
  3. Walter Payton
  4. Cal Ripken, Jr.
  5. Michael Jordan

Five runners-up:

  1. Doctor J
  2. Brooks Robinson
  3. Len Bias
  4. Rick McLeish
  5. Magic Johnson